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Internet class: Learn How To Have An Orgasm Online

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The invention of the Internet has really been a boon to us hermits (or not), if you’ve got a computer and an Internet connection you never ever have to leave the house.

You can get your food, your pharmaceuticals,your sex entertainment, your sports equipment, your sex equipment, your sex partners, and pretty much anything else a person might need from the wide world web.

Shit, you don’t even need to leave the house to go to work, or school.


I could easily do my Slutroulette job from the comfort of my living room, and more and more jobs are becoming home based these days what-with the companies saving millions of dollars on stuff like renting offices and paying the electric bill.

Don’t like your job? Get a better one by going back to school and getting your doctorate.

That’s right, on top of working from home you can also get a good ol’ doctorate while covered in Cheetos dust and wearing your Pac Man pajamas.


It’s gotten that we live so much of our lives online that you can even take a course on hose to have an orgasm. Obviously, these are lady orgasms we’re talking about, since humanity has long since cracked the nut on the male orgasm.

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The six-week course from orgasmicbliss.com “gives woman simple, safe and fun exercises and techniques that work as much on women’s minds, emotions and sense of worth as their physical body through exercises on sounding, breathing movement and awareness.”

All of which can be learned from the comfort of your own home. If you feel icky about taking an orgasm course or if, like me, you’re too cheap or broke to pay the $180 price tag, you can try out the first week completely free or charge.



What do I think about all this?

Prelude: I really hope you don’t have to enter a credit card number to have access to the free week like you have to do for Netflix, but now that I think of it, you probably do, and I bet you a million they say you have to enter a credit card number so they can verify you’re over 18 years-old.

For one, it’s super freakin’ sad that we live in a society where woman have to be taught how to have an orgasm.

Haven’t we been going on an on about this since the sexual revolution of the ’60s and 2nd wave feminism (or it is 3rd wave)? Like, fuck, this amateur girlfriend, called Daisy, used to teach masturbation classes.


Women had to learn that their pleasure mattered. That it wasn’t dirty for them to feel pleasure.

That their genitals weren’t weird and that they weren’t freaks of nature for having or wanting orgasms.

But 40-or-50 years later and we’re still learning the same lessons over and over again. Gawd, I call bullshit on this repressed and stupid society. Sad, sad, bullshit.

For two, it’s so goddamn awesome that we live in such a sexually progressive society that you can take a 6-week course, without even leaving your house, on how to have the best, most awesome-est, juiciest, scream-fest orgasms you can have.

Even if you cum on the regular, I’m sure anyone and everyone could benefit from a little instruction and guidance in the area of orgasmic pleasure.

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For three, it’s kind of sad that male sexuality is considered so obvious and simple that they don’t get near as many books, classed, instructional videos, etc, on how to have the best orgasms that they can have.

I’m sure most dudes aren’t even close to hitting their highest potential in this area. I mean, hell, I have a minimum of three orgasms in a row when I make myself cum.

And the clitoris has 6,000 never endings compared to the penis glans which only has 3,000.

It’s not clear to me anymore who has the short end of the stick.

For four, I know I’ve just contradicted myself (a bunch of times, probably), but I stand by what I said.

For five, if you can’t afford the price tag of a six-week course, you can always watch some free porn and learn a little somethin’ somethin’ through imitation.

It’s an age-old classic when it comes to sex education. Thank god for porn, right? When you think about it cavemen and caveladies probably had to learn this shit from watching their parents.

And now that I’ve put that lovely image in your head enjoy the masturbation videos from DaChix:

And don’t miss the archive of this tumblr; all female masturbation ways possible;

Manually, Hitachi wand, shower, bath, vibrators, dildos, with pics, gifs and videos ! And now if you can excuse me…. I’ll have something to do 😉

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